Riddles and word plays on a cold January day

It's January and it's very cold in many places in the Northern Hemisphere.  If you live Down Under in Australia and New Zealand, it's the summer season, but you can still enjoy some riddles and word plays.  So, why don't you sit by the fire or keep yourself cool and try to solve some of the following riddles and word plays. 


QUESTION:  I am not alive, but I grow.  I do not have lungs, but I need air.  I don't have a mouth, but water destroys me.  What am I?

ANSWER:  Fire.


QUESTION:  People buy me to eat, but don't eat me.  What am I?

ANSWER:  A plate.



QUESTION:  What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?

ANSWER:  Synonym buns.



QUESTION:  One big hockey fan claimed to be able to tell the score before any game.  How did he do it?

ANSWER:  The score before any hockey game should be 0-0, of course.

QUESTION:  What can be seen once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in a thousand years?

ANSWER:  The letter “m.”


:"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns.  He should be drawn and quoted."

- Attributed to Fred Allen (1894-1956), American radio comedian, Dictionary of Quotations in 
Communications

Fred Allen

Pupkis:  The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.


Santa's helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.


QUESTION:  How do construction workers party?

ANSWER:  They raise the roof.



- Joanne

Shame on U.S. Vice President Mike Pence

VP Mike Pence

U.S. Vice President Mike Pence serves as Donald Trump's lap dog.  He is expected to defend the president at the drop of a hat.  Trump demands Pence's undying loyalty at all times and in all circumstances.  However, that does not mean that Pence had to sink so law as to equate his master's border wall with Martin Luther King's campaign for justice and civil rights.  Such an analogy is absolutely revolting.  It is disgusting beyond belief.  It is an insult to the memory of Dr. King and to all Americans, regardless of race or colour.

On the eve of Martin Luther King Day, Vice President Pence appeared on CBS's Face the Nation.  He quoted from Dr. King's magnificent "I Have a Dream" speech.  Then he went on to make the following statement: "One of my favourite quotes from Dr. King was, "Now is the time to make real promises on democracy.  You think of how he changed America.  He inspired us to change through the legislative process, to become a more perfect union.  That's exactly what President Trump is calling on Congress to do.  Come to the table in good faith.  We'll secure out borders.  We'll reopen the government and we'll move our nation forward as the president said yesterday to even a broader discussion about immigration reform in the months ahead."

The Vice President used the beautiful words of Martin Luther King to brazenly advocate for the polices of Donald J. Trump.  He used the revered memory of Dr. King to play politics on behalf of his boss and the  Republican party.  Yet, the late civil rights champion's beliefs and principles are the exact opposite of Donald Trump's policies.  In his Letter from Birmingham Jail, dated April 16, 1963, King wrote, "We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny.  Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."  Trump's nationalism, his Fortress America outlook would never have been embraced by Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., who would have celebrated his 90th birthday on January 15th.

Dr. King built bridges, not fences.  If he were alive today, he would strongly oppose Trump's infernal 5.7 million border wall.  In fact, I am confident in saying that King would lead a march against it.  He definitely would not be in favour of Trump's anti-immigrant policies.  He would be appalled by the detention of children and their separation from their parents.

Today is Martin Luther King Day in the United States.  King was assassinated on August 4, 1968, over 50 years ago.  50 years hence, will there be a day in honour of Donald J. Trump?  What do you honestly think?   I think Dr. King must be turning over in his grave.  By the way, Martin Luther King's son, Martin Luther King III, said that his father would view the government shutdown as "inhumane," and blamed Trump for creating misery among federal workers.

MLK

- Joanne